Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Snap judgements.

I'm planning on constructing an abstract sculpture out of copper pipes and bowling balls. I plan to put it in my front yard. I am taking advantage of our lack of a home owner's association. My neighbors can blame my previous neighbors. We kept getting cited by the city because our hedges weren't trimmed the right way. Now I'm rebelling. What fun is living in an artsy neighborhood if you can't be expressive?

Speaking of rebels....

We were riding the ferry back from Bremerton the other night and I saw a couple by the food area taking pictures with the camera I covet- the Canon Rebel.


I nudged the guy and said, "I bet you're having a lot of fun with that Rebel."

He looked confused and said, "Yea, we are havin' a guh-rate time."
I was walking away and the woman poked the man and said, "How'd she know we're from Mississippi?!?"

The guy says, "I dunno, I thought you were wearin' yer ol' rebel flag shirt, but ya aren't!"

I was about to turn around and correct the misperception when she said, "People in Seattle are startin' to cuh-reep me out." The man said, "Yeah."

I just continued on and let them be in awe of my Seattle voodoo. :)


*On another Seattle note... I'd seen the Half Price Books on 47th and Roosevelt, but always assumed it was just close out books, which depress the aspiring writer in me. They have a HUGE selection of used books. Huge.

There is also a great used and new bookstore for kids on 45th in Wallingford called Alphabet Soup. It's a fantastic little store with a great selection and a passionate staff. They are also definitely worth a visit.

Friday, September 16, 2005

This is our humor level.


Want to crack up a 2 & 1/2 year old?

What's green and sour and hangs out in your armpit? -A tickle pickle.

What's it called when your puppy is out in the rain? -A soggy doggy.

What's yellow, yummy, and goes beep beep? -A corn horn.

My husband is worried that our son is too enamored with rhymes. I often talk in rhymes and we read a lot of Dr. Suess. Jack has started to justify his actions like so:

Me: "Hey, how come you hit the dog? That's not nice."

Him: "It is! He needed a chufalump thump."

How can you argue with that?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Change of perspective

For about a week I've been in a little bit of a funk. I was mopey, lazy, apathetic, grouchy....for no apparent reason. I just had some funky blues and it was oozing out of my pores. Enter: this week. My kid is sick, I'm sore and self conscious from some minor (no, not cosmetic) face surgery, the weather sucks and my husband is STILL working on last months's deadline. So, I don't get to see him and I'm not getting a lot of help around the house. I'm self conscious about my stitches and my kid is contagious and to put it politely- PISSY. We've been pretty homebound. Now I'm just pissed at myself for wasting last week on a funk.

Well, if the little guy has less snot and attitude tomorrow WE ARE GOING OUT. If anybody is crass enough to ask about my face, instead of regaling them with a public service announcement about USING MORE SUNBLOCK I am going to tell them I was a victim of a cougar attack and if it wasn't for our trusted little five pounder Fireball pictured below (not her real name)





I would not have made it.






Stitches freak people out.
On some different notes......
Plan on making a website? For the love of god, use Moonfruit. They completely rock. When I think of the time and money I wasted with yahoo and tripod.... Well, let's just not think about it.
Moonfruit has a free 14 day trial, FANTASTIC building tools and easy add ons, free ad-supported hosting and non-ad sites starting at about $40 a year with payment plans. You don't have to pay up front for a year of mystery hosting. It doesn't get any easier, folks. They kick geocities ass. I am not a geek (despite my husband's best efforts) and I kicked out a multi-page website for our kid's new co-op in a couple of hours. And it rocks. I am moony for Moonfruit.
Also.... do you like to giggle? When the Best of Craigslist hasn't been updated for a while and you want to laugh the online version of McSweeney's has some damn good chuckle oppurtunities. Remember the Devil Went Down to Georgia?

My grandpa used to give me quarters for the jukebox when I visited him at the Moose Lodge and that is what I would play. I spent my summer vacation with Charlie Daniels and Shirley Temples.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

If I was anywhere south of here having lunch....

I would be eating Mexican food like a fiend. Globalization has failed to bring authentic Mexican food to the emerald city. There are some okay places, but nothing authentic enough to knock our socks off. If I could change one thing about Seattle that would make it my Perfect Place to Live Forever (PPLF) it would be to add an abundance of great Mexican cuisine. Bring on some red sauce with kick and depth! Smother everything with green chile! Gimme! Gimme!




There are two seperate restaurants here that we've found that claim to serve Hatch green chile (this is to chile what Napa is to wine). We were so excited to try it out, but both times if it was Hatch it was cleverly disguised in the chef's own efforts at tasteless mediocrity. If they would just leave it alone and serve it as it is- it would be wonderful and the people would come.

I spent part of my growing up in New Mexico and the beginning of fall will forever make me nostalgic for the smell of roasting peppers. aaaahhhhh....

Alas, I actually far prefer Seattle to L.A. or Albuquerque. I just miss the chile! And sopapillas!

If they could just make the burritos longer, I would hold some hope. Burritos aren't supposed to be cubical, Seattle-ites! Maybe a formula of greater than or equal to 3 times the width could be a standard.

exhibit a:













Be careful out there.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Stop supporting Geoffrey.

Dear Toys'R'Us;

I grew up in a town too small to have a Toys'r'us. I truly felt that this compromised my childhood. When we visited distant family I would beg and whine until I grated my mom's nerves down and she would take me to the mecca of plastic and gender specific packaging. I loved everything from the long fluorescent aisles to the selection of record shaped bubble gums by the checkstands. It was my kind of place.
A couple of decades pass and I now have better judgement.
I hate Toys'r'us.
Is it that...
everything in the entire place is made by the same half dozen toy monopolies?
anything remotely artsy is packaged in hot pink?
that at Toys'r'us, pretend play means pretending you're working at McDonald's building Big Macs or polishing your mini Kitchenaid blender with Mr. Clean dustcloths?
the entire fucking aisle of war toys?
anything related to tools has "Home Depot" in 3 inch letters all over it?
Bratz wasn't creepy enough- now you have to walk by a 12 foot pyramid of Baby Bratz?!?
everything is crossmarketed with some other product as if my kid was a some consumer sponge rather than a child just looking for something to play with?
I had an $80 credit from a returned baby shower gift and I thought we would get something for the monkey. He has low standards so I thought it would be easy, but it wasn't. We got some train stuff and some plastic crap for the sandbox. I hope they somehow go out of business before I have to go back. Blech!
I'm off my soapbox now, and I'm off to support the little guy.